After two very different births, the first being her introduction to pregnancy and birthing, and an experience of having a midwife relationship.  Alishiba young, shy and not always forthcoming had a very busy midwife as her Lead Maternity Carer.  Alishiba said her midwife was skilled and lovely, but just not accessible. Once she birthed her eldest child her midwife who she had known was replaced with a post-partum midwife.  This, stated Alishiba was hard as a new māmā to gain traction and trust for the second time during this precious passage.

Alishiba’s second birth with her tama, was a journey tinted with what she could only recognise six months post birth as being perinatal depression. Something Alishiba at the time couldn’t articulate or even fully understand. She just didn’t know if what she was experiencing was normal or not. Alishiba described it like not knowing how sad she was until she felt lighter, and through the other side.  She said at the time she had no resources or help.  Her midwife did not seem to recognise it either, and Alishiba did not know how to express how she felt.  This pōuritanga marred her hapūtanga and the birth of her second pēpi.  Alishiba said her waters broke, but she did not go into labour. She was induced with pitocin and the midwife told her she would come back in a few hours when she predicted the pitocin would kick in. Alishiba was scared and had a sense of being left alone. She clung to her midwife and told her to stay.  The pangs of contractions were looming and two hours later her tama arrived into the realm of Tūroa.   

Not planning another child, actually far from it, Alishiba and her partner, Keke,  had decided two tamariki were enough until she found out she was hapū again.   Alishiba laughs at her own wonderful ovulation naivety that resulted in another pēpi.  After two weeks of processing their new reality Alishiba and Keke, were extremely excited with another stunning addition to their whānau. Alishiba was initially sold on the concept of having an epidural for this birth. Until she had a mana wāhine epiphany that reminded Alishiba of her aptitude. “I now know what it’s like to birth, I know the pain, the exhaustion, the anticipation – I know birth. Yet, I don’t know epidural and how this will truly impact my labour, birth and baby”. In this acknowledgement Alishiba found power within herself and also a curiosity to bring in more Māori customary birthing practices. Her mind and body did a shift and with this came a long awaited Māori midwife, everything started to align.

Having her Māori midwife Tūmanako by her side was another vital part in this positive birthing story. Alishiba described her relationship with Tūmanako as extremely comfortable – Alishiba felt she could be herself, able to share what she wanted and knew she was heard and even better understood. “We were so similar, grew up in a similar situation, on the Marae, te reo Māori is important and tikanga”. I really appreciated Tūmanako and it made me realise how having a Māori midwife made my birthing experience so much richer. This pregnancy was what Alishiba didn’t have for her previous two. It was tau. She was in control and she felt super happy utilising customary birthing practices – they align with the taiao and that aligns with Alishiba. She was no longer scared.

Alishiba got a maripi pounamu (greenstone knife, that will be gifted to their pēpi as a hei taonga), she asked her kairaranga tungāne for some muka for the whītau. He took this wero beautifully and cut one of the aho from the korowai he was making for the graduation of their tuahine and sent this to Alishiba. A piece of wood flooring from their own home having EQC repairs was cut off, sanded and stained to provide a sentimental cutting board for the iho, a waiata list was gathered including two waiata from Alishiba’s late pāpā tuarua, she utilised www.hakui.nz for information, and she attended a kaupapa Māori antenatal wānanga called, Whānau Mai. Her strength and light were building around this birth.

The only thing Alishiba said she wished she could have included was to have her pēpi at home with her daughter present.  Given they were in a rental and the rules at Christchurch Women’s she was only allowed her partner and midwife present at the birth. Alishiba regrets not honouring a promise to her daughter. However, come future pēpi (and I don’t think Alishiba is over having pēpi yet) her mātāmua may get another shot at witnessing her māmā in her true power as she welcomes another Prime-Leatua into Te Ao Marama.