Dani Gibb’s story

The birth of Kahurangi was not ‘text book’, we took twists and turns I was not expecting and I was challenged as a wahine, mama and birthing person. Despite it not being a normal birth, it was empowering because I felt heard and supported by the most amazing team of midwives whom I will forever be grateful to. Ngā mihi nui a Rātā Midwives.

Birth

Is powerful

Is raw

Is intense

Is courageous

I am a midwife and my mind, knowledge and birth expectations challenged me throughout my haputanga. I found working in a tertiary birthing unit extraordinarily hard for my mental wellbeing. Birth is normal, it is whakapapa, but my daily interactions with the medical system reminded me of the other side of birth. I worked hard to counterbalance this.

With a firm foot in normal and a clinically normal haputanga, I chose to give birth at home. I finished mahi at 33 weeks pregnant and spent a period of time in solitude with myself, bonding with my pepi and having regular rongoa Maori haputanga romiromi. This experience was so needed and helped to unblock pathways of energy within me and connect with my pepi in her celestial being. I felt like I already knew her. She was so tau.

I wanted my pepi to be born into her papa’s hands, to hear our voices at birth, to hear karakia and to intertwine traditional kai tahu practices into our experience. This was how I wanted tino rangatiratanga for my experience. My tauiwi midwives honoured my lead on this and never questioned what we had planned. Nick learned karakia from the Hakui website and we planned for him to recite this during the birth of our pepi earthside. We had muka for her pito and pounamu maripi.

We planned to birth Kahurangi at home and we tried so hard for that to be true. During pregnancy I did regular yoga, stretched, walked, relaxed and took care of my tinana in a way I never had before; I even slowed down, which if you know me is no mean feat. I worked hard in labour at home for a long time, pushed for many hours, did every spinning babies position in the book... birth pool, toilet, hands and knees, birth pool, toilet, stomped the hallway. Hot towels, massage, music, oils, movement, she was swivelling but not descending. As dawn broke we decided to transfer to the hospital for support; we had exhausted our resources at home and I knew something wasn’t quite right, why wasn’t this baby out? My brain was coming back online after many hours of primal inner labouring and above all, I was exhausted.

My team of midwives followed me to the hospital and continued to advocate for me and protect my privacy. An epidural. Oxytocin. CTG. More spinning babies. A few complications. Why no baby yet? Nick was my rock throughout everything. Eventually Nick and I agreed that we needed to give birth to Kahurangi before she or I became unwell. We agreed to an assisted birth with forceps. The obstetrician knew how much I wanted Nick to be the first to touch her, to hear his voice, leave the cord until our whenua was born, let us do what we needed to do. And he did. The forceps guided her head out and Nick took over. He placed our beautiful baby on my chest, she didn't cry at first and while we gently rubbed her to remind her she was earthside there was gentle chatter. As her whai korero enveloped the room, the voices fell silent and I wept. We all wept. Relief. Joy. Strength. Pain. The whenua was born gently afterwards, cord intact, she received all the blood that was hers. When we decided to sever the cord, Nick managed to find his breath again and we listened to his karakia. This was so special to me. I felt like despite the journey we had taken to meet this baby, we were tau again. Despite the complete change of expectation and circumstances, this journey was ours. We used our muka and pounamu to tie and sever the cord. We left the hospital with our Kahurangi in our arms and continued the story of the start of our whanau within the comfort of our home. My birth story is an example of true collaboration and determination as well as medical resources being used appropriately. My birth story is also one of love with no bounds, I am really proud of myself.

Hakui is a resource of empowerment for Ngāi Tahu. It gave me the opportunity for mana motuhake and tino rangatiratanga of my birthing experience and despite the challenges we encountered, we felt empowered. Without Hakui, we would not have had the opportunity to connect with my Ngai Tahutanga, and it was an opportunity for Kahurangi to hear the words of her tupuna. Hakui reminded me that my tupuna are always with me, especially as we navigate the two worlds of being.