Kupu:

I roto i te pō uriuri, i te pō tangotango. I rongo au i a koe. Aku moemoea, aku moemoea i a koe. Elshaddai Te Hono i Te Rongo Hohepa tō ingoa. Ki tō hoe, hoea, ki pāmamao hoea atu rā. Ki te timatanga, o te ao kātoa. Ki te Kaiwhakaora, o nga mea kātoa. Ki roto i tō ipu whakaairō e...i

Whakamārama / Explanation:

On the first snowfall of this year in Waihōpai. My little boy in the second trimester went to sleep forever. He was extremely peaceful in my womb. The following week labour was induced. He came gently into the world. In this lament my feelings post delivery are expressed. The emptiness, the tears in my dreams. But in the depth of this brief despair, I saw hope. My dreams became kinder to me. We named our son, Elshaddai, in Hebrew this means 'All Sufficient One'. In the pain we experienced great love and provisions from our community when we mourned. Spiritual activity of comfort to me and my whānau was prevalent during that time.

Pick up your paddle, row, row further to the beyond. To the beginning of all life. To the Lifegiver of all living beings. In your carrier that was beautifully designed for you.

(I made a clay container and drew decorative designs on it. Filled it with earth and placed Elshaddai's body and placenta in it. In the summer time we will bury him either by my Father. Or within my Mum's hapū, along the Whanganui River).

© Kahutaiki Stirling-Boyles